Wednesday Whispers: Insecurities and more.

Hello Rebels,
Welcome!
Welcome!!
Welcome!!!
Thank you all for coming on this journey with me and sticking with me thus far, I'm everly grateful.
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A lot of people look at me on a daily basis and go, "Girl, I wish to have your level of confidence" or "You're overly confident, that must be a good feeling. Not giving a care what people say or think about you, I wish I could be more like that." But what they don't know is that it wasn't always like that and sometimes it still isn't.
Insecurities have always been one constant in my life. Funny right? The badass queen of not giving a f**k had and still has insecurities? Well, go figure! Cause even the president of the world's largest economy has his own insecurities. President Trump is after all being trolled for being bald headed and going for a hair transplant. Being insecure which is synonymous with vulnerability isn't such a bad thing at all; it's something every living, breathing human being should have not minding the fact that we're in a generation where everyone wants to be a bad bitch.

What has gotten me so far to where I am today, is the fact that I was able to find strength in my weaknesses. I chose to turn my vulnerability into my greatest strength, and that is what I suggest we all should do and keep doing. Being weak sometimes is allowed, we can't always be strong. We need to take a break from being super human every once in awhile; even Clark Kent has the Kryptonite!

One of my major insecurity growing up was my body. I was body shamed for being too thin, for being muscular and when puberty hit; it was for being overly curvy and plump. The society has painted this picture of what we are supposed to look like in order to be accepted and when you don't meet certain expectations, they try to tear you apart not for anything else but for the fact that you're different. You look different, you act different, you talk different, you eat different, you walk different; you're different! They become scared because you're not what they're used to, you're not the norm. But what exactly is the norm? What is normal? And who set these standards for us?

Being an athlete (yeah, I was a runner and part gymnast growing up and through highschool) meant I grew muscular and having anorexia meant I was always too thin for the muscles forming, so my thighs, legs and arms were the more muscular body parts (especially my legs); I remember being told I looked like a boy, I was called "yam leg" by a lot of people especially peers. I hated my legs and body in general; until I rebelled by being a tomboy! Did I forget to say how big and full my lips were that I got tagged 'big mouth' or is it being literally brow-less I got compared to a vulture every now and then. The list seems endless! 

Looking back now I can't help but laugh, I have become everyone's dream girl as I was told (don't blame me, blame the toasters please). After years of body hating and harming (these are mental illnesses and no, I'm not crazy just goofy as hell) I have finally learned to love my body and understand it's going through its own process, I don't need to starve anymore to shed weight or eat too much (binge eating) to gain weight  when everyone is either complaining about me being too fat or too thin. Bitch please, I didn't ask you! Your opinion doesn't matter and you can shove it where it belongs, up your ass. I've decided to let my body do it's thing at it's own pace, no more stressing and suffering it. If I'm 'fat' today or 'thin' tomorrow I don't really care. I'll just try to eat and live a healthy lifestyle as much as I possibly can, no more trying to fit in. No thank you, I'd rather stand out.
This body is ours and ours alone; it's our home for the duration of our stay here on earth, so get comfortable in it. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of your body, don't let them make you want to look a certain way, own it and work it. Be happy and carefree, life isn't that serious. We have to make the most of what we have, "life gives you lemons, make a badass lemonade".

We as human beings need to stop passing judgement on one another, body shaming isn't cool. I don't have to look a certain way for you to accept me, let's all learn to love one another some more. It will lead to less wars been fought and more progress in our communities. But what do I know, after all I'm just a nobody trying to become a somebody and hopefully leave my mark on the world.  

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Till the next one, let's keep eating right, drinking water and minding our businesses. 

Your friendly neighborhood rebel. 

XOXO-Rebel D. 